Survival Kills
You no longer maintain loyalty to land or certificates of existence. “Farrah” translates to
“happiness”. With a slick tremor to the lower back, radio waves ( c r a s h i n g a l o n g
t h e s k u l l ) dial to white static then reversed tongues. Repeat to Body to halt all signals
of pain, as that is $53,635 dollars worth of medical advice. Leave the romantic behind.
Abandon the Northside the way your father did to you. Your joy is always pearly glue.
Stepped on by cowboy boots and Jordans and chanclas, always plated to street stubble and
beer shards. Smart girl, clever cunt. You escaped city limits. Loneliness has comrades in
the walls, voices in poorly carpeted floors. The Burning. The headlights and whistles of a
hood for nothing centaur. Always a prisoner, never what you say you are. Pinned silhouette,
scraping. Draining the mucus from the left eye, the itchy solar. No more bloody kisses on
glossy knees. The Everything staged just behind your reach. Anew.
The streetlight blacked out
As I walked beneath it. My neon green
Wig barely glistened, stiffly so. No
Submission as I headed home in my heels.
Fat thighs, fat ass, fat sense of self. All
Friction. Mija brutal. The night
Matched my want. I had silence
and a stranger’s sperm to keep me
Fulfilled, paid. Always for the coins.
I wondered how other piles of voices
Skrrted around their streets. Todas
Estrellas y mortalidad. As I crept the
Calle in my exile, I stood atop uncut
Order. They never snorted or sucked on this
Narrative. They never heard the wind make
Love to power lines at 4 AM. Last
Light before the same
Dawn as the last one. The one before, the
One before that. No, I haven’t cried in
Sixty moons. Sexy shadow, yes, I know it
Hurts. With the same intensity with which
We fucked. Transsexual warrior. Slur of a
Woman. The road ends on top of us all.
Pero ella se quema. Skrrts right out of
Existence. Under the law of la luz.
Farrah Fang is from Houston, Texas. She is the author of the poetry chapbook Quererme En La Luz, published by Abode Press. She is a Tin House Scholar, a Pushcart Prize nominee, and an advocate for trans liberation.